"All We Need is a Little Patience"

While on my mission in Alaska, I heard a couple wise sayings that made me laugh but have stuck with me. Both of these sayings dealt with patience. The first was "I really want patience... but I want it now." The second saying was simply more of a prayer to God that He would "help me learn quickly what I am suppose to from this challenge so that it is no longer a challenge."

I think I really appreciated these sayings while on my mission because being a missionary often involved both waiting and challenges. Both of these aspects of missionary work left me feeling at times extremely impatient.

Since being home, I have found that trying to develop patience and conquering challenges seem to have come home with me--imagine that! Recently, I have found myself confronting these same issues. In the past months, I have been trying to make many life decisions with my graduation approaching here in April and have felt as though the Lord has been slow to answer my prayers. This has left me feeling fairly discouraged. The Lord has also at times answered me, but in a way my father would of approve of--by "answering the question that should have been asked rather than the one that was."

As I read from the scriptures this week, though, I came across the story of the sons' of King Mosiah (king over the Lamanites) mission to the Lamanites (enemies to King Mosiah's people). One of the brothers has immense initial success whereas the other brothers are met with serious tribulation. After a while, the successful brother Ammon finds his brothers in prison and it is recorded in Alma 20: 29, "And when Ammon did meet them he was exceedingly sorrowful, for behold they were naked, and their skins were worn exceedingly because of being bound with strong cords. And they also had suffered hunger, thirst, and all kinds of afflictions; nevertheless they were patient in all their sufferings."

This verse touched me because what these imprisoned brothers didn't know was the success that would shortly befall them. One brother in particular would go on to help convert the king of the Lamanite nation! Yet for a time, these brothers suffered immensely in prison. I have to think that at times, they must have been tempted to wonder what the Lord was doing or what was taking Him so long to help them. However, they endured and as He always does, the Lord came through.

I think at times, the Lord has us make sacrifices that seem tough or puts us through trying times. It is during these times that we seem to become painfully aware of time and can become impatient. However, I think it is because we fail to understand the Lord's workings. I think the key to developing patience is faith. In Samuel we read, "them that honour me I will honour" (1 Sam. 2:30). The imprisoned sons of Mosiah waited patiently on God, and I believe they were able to do so because they had faith Him and His timing. He knows what we need and when we need it. I will wait patiently because I believe that.

For those of you who may feel as though you are waiting on the Lord as well, wait on! Don't give up on Him. I don't know what will befall us in every situation, but I do know that when we patiently wait on Him, it will be His will!

Fix You

For anyone who knows me, they know that I am probably a little bit too much of a fan of Coldplay. I think they do a great job making music that comes from the soul. I think this may be why their songs are able to connect with me and so many others. One such song is "Fix You." After laying out the struggle of trying "your best but you don't succeed," Coldplay writes "lights will guide you home...and I will try to fix you."

In Alma 8, we read the account of Alma who has given up his political office to go around the land proclaiming repentance full-time. He visits a few towns and has success before being shut down completely by the people of Ammonihah. In response Alma begins to leave but the scriptures read "it came to pass that while he was journeying thither, being weighed down with sorrow, wading through much tribulation and anguish of soul...it came to pass that while Alma was thus weighed down with sorrow, behold an angel of the Lord appeared to him" (Alma 8:14).

The angel would tell Alma to return to Ammonihah one more time and after obeying, Alma has moderate success in his endeavors. However, I think this scripture is meaningful for me because it is something that I feel as though I can relate to very much. There have been times where I have been giving everything I have got to do what is right and have felt incredibly dejected and almost alone when faced with disappointment. I think that during these times I have found myself deeply sorrowful and have even caught myself wondering why God would allow me to pass through failure when I have been trying so hard to do everything right.

I think the answer for me and for anyone who has felt or is feeling like this is hope--hope that a light will guide you home. For Alma, an angel came to him and comforted him. For me, it has been my angel family members, friends, or sometimes the Lord Himself through prayer who have helped guide me home. The real principle is this, love is not as allusive as it may feel at times.

When Alma needed comfort most, he did receive it and so can we. I know it can be awfully discouraging at times to feel like you are doing everything right only to be rewarded with a less than desirable outcome, but it is in these moments that we can learn to rely on others. The other principle I think may be less evident from Alma's story is that hardships help make us into God would have us become. I know trials are hard, but I do know that as we look for help, we will find it. I also know that if we persevere, God can "fix" us into who He knows we can become! So next time you are really struggling after giving your all, look up and try to see what God is making of you.

Feeling Like a Black Sheep, eh?

When you Google the the definition for the word infinite, the definition that you will find is "limitless or endless in space, extent, or size." This is a fairly tough concept to wrap our minds around, but we generally understand that something that is infinite is understood to be limitless. 

With that understanding in mind, we sometimes hear Christ's atonement (His suffering and death for us) described as infinite, and we understand that it can be enough to cleanse and strengthen anyone, anytime, anywhere. However, it has occurred to me over time from my own experience that while we understand this concept intellectually, I think that we at times may actually really feel in our hearts as though there is a limit to His atonement--a place, a time, a person that it does not cover. Unfortunately, I believe that this person more often than not for most people is themselves.

Many of us have known someone who has been touched by Christ's grace, and we know that many others have and can be as well, but at times it can be difficult for us to believe we can be included among these people. In Mosiah 29:20, the king of the Nephites reminds his people of how a part of them had recently been in bondage and teaches "[God] did deliver them because they did humble themselves before him; and because they cried mightily unto him he did deliver them out of bondage; and thus doth the Lord work with his power in all cases among the children of men, extending the arm of mercy towards them that put their trust in him." 

The part of this teaching that I would like to call out is that Mosiah states in no uncertain terms that the Lord extends mercy in all cases. This means so much to me as I have felt before in my life that while the atonement was efficacious for others, I did not know if it could be efficacious for me. The strangest irony in this thought, though, is that as I have mentioned, this is not a unique thought--many of us at one point or another have felt this way. The atonement is in fact infinite and fortunately for us all, it does include all of us. I came to know this by calling upon Him for mercy myself and learning the truth that even for people who are certain His atonement won't work for them, sorry, (but not so sorry) it will.

For any of my friends or family who are living life wondering what others are talking about when they talk about how their lives have been changed by Christ, I would just invite you to try calling upon Him to strengthen you. For those of my friends and family who feel as I have in the passed in that they feel isolated and outside the bounds of His grace for whatever reason, I would just invite you to do the same. 

I don't know very many things absolutely, but I do know this. Christ loves us so much and anyone who trusts Him enough to try calling on Him sincerely can feel His truly matchless love as well. 

Make That Change!

Within The Book of Mormon, there are many different groups of people that readers encounter. However, two of the most notable groups are the Lamanites and the Nephites--long-time enemies of each other. Very early on within The Book of Mormon, the Nephites flee their homeland as instructed by the Lord, and the Lamanites then proceed to inhabit the land of Nephi. Later on, though, a group of Nephites led by a man named Zeniff decide that they would like to go live back in the land of Nephi if the Lamanites will let them. The Lamanites surprisingly do go for this with the implicit agreement that they will allow the Zeniff's people to live there peacefully. However, later on the Lamanites attack and while they are initially repulsed, we learn that predictably, the Lamanites agreed to these terms in hopes of enslaving Zeniff's people.

As a kid I can remember reading this story and thinking "Oh man! Bad idea to intentionally surround yourself with your enemies". Despite my skepticism of this move, I have still always tried to draw inspiration from Zeniff's people's ability to at least still stay strong in the faith even when surrounded by those who opposed their faith as long as they did. However, this time as a I read, I could not help but think about how strange it is that even once Zeniff realizes the Lamanites are not actually interested in being friends but are rather interested in enslaving His people that he doesn't pack up and lead his people to safety. Rather, Zeniff's response to realizing the Lamanites are likely to attack again is only to "set guards round about the land, that the Lamanites might not come upon us again unawares and destroy us" (Mosiah 10:2).

 I believe that his answer to this threat reveals perhaps a human flaw that when we are able to successfully survive something, we feel as though we can survive anything on our own power. As anyone who has read the next few verses and chapters knows, Zeniff's people are eventually enslaved despite his efforts to keep them safe. I think the principle this teaches is that we are not actually invincible. If we place ourselves in terrible places in our lives and do not get out of them once realizing that we are in a terrible place, we will likely fall. I think the truth "pride cometh before the fall" is really at the heart of this principle.

I know that at times I have been guilty of believing I can take on the world and not falter, but I think the truth is that only one has been able to do so successfully. I also think we have a tendency to blame God once we are enslaved after staying our bad places. For me personally, I feel as though God has always given me strength to get out of my bad places when  I have accepted that it is a bad place. I think for us, we need to be realistic in our expectations of our ability to not be influenced by others around us and recognize when we need to move to safer ground. This can mean changing friend groups, changing jobs, or just making large personal changes. While I know change is hard, I think in the long run, changing early can save us from greater pain. May we all recognize when we have been blessed with a chance to right our lives and take those chances as God gives them!

Starting- Just Do It!

As a looked through motivational quotes this week on the internet in an effort to inspire me amidst this week of midterms and assignments, I came across the old adage, “the beginning is always the hardest part.” I can certainly attest of this when it comes to getting ready for a test! However, I have found myself pondering upon this adage in the context of faith as well this week and would like to share with ya’ll my thoughts on this.

I have found that when it comes to the struggle of faith, (whether it be beginning to believe, trying again to believe, or just building upon existing faith) this adage seems to hold true. Contemplating the vastness of faith and God’s infiniteness can leave one’s head swirling. For the person who decides much like a determined student to succeed in their quest for faith, I feel certain that the most difficult question to be answered along the path remain will always be “where do I start?”.

This week as I read through King Benjamin’s words found within Mosiah 4:9, though, I was reminded of what I believe the answer to this difficult question is. King Benjamin teaches, “Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth.” I believe the answer of where to start with faith begins with finding a belief in God.

I can remember heading into school one morning years ago while at BYU and pondering this very verse. At this point in my life all those years ago, I had begun to truly question the origins of my beliefs—had I come to espouse certain beliefs because of my upbringing or did I in fact, of myself believe in my faith along with its many tenets. This was truly upsetting to me, though, and despite a lot of introspection, I wasn’t really quite sure I could even answer the basic question with full conviction that I knew that God lived.

As I looked out across the Utah valley that morning, though, I saw the majesty of Mount Timpanogas just the sun began to break behind its peak. I saw the trees lining the rivers I passed. I saw all sorts of life—birds, humans, small pets—out and about enjoying the scenery. It was beautiful.

After taking in the nature for a little while, my attention was then drawn to something else—I saw a tall building.

For the first time it hit me how feeble our manmade creations are. As grand as that building looked, it had nothing on the mountains, trees, or life I saw all around me. It struck me as odd as I marveled at this skyscraper’s insignificance, though, how caught up and proud we are as a species despite obviously not being in contention for the best developers of beauty.

It was then that I recalled these words of King Benjamin. As I pondered upon his words, I began to desperately give all I had in that moment to believe in God and that it was He who had overseen the creation of all the beauty around me. As I did so, I felt a calm, reassuring peace settle over me, almost like a gentle voice telling me, “I’m glad to see you can see me.”

This scripture has come to mean to me that we begin our faith by believing in God. While this first step seems daunting, He is certainly not hard to see if we but look around. I believe that King Benjamin hoped that his words, while seemingly simplistic, would lead those sincere in their efforts to find faith to find Him. King Benjamin had seen evidences of God in all creation and I am grateful that I stopped to look as well.

I don’t know that everyone is as touched or inspired by seeing nature’s unrivaled majesty as I am but I know that God knows each one of us and can find a way for each of us to know Him personally if we will look for Him. I would just invite you all as my friends, no matter where you are at on your search for faith, to try to see Him today and believe.

Just Keep Writing, Just Keep Writing

While the prospect of aging scares me at times, there are certainly a few activities that I look forward to taking part of in the future. These activities fall into my list affectionately known as "things old people do." Such activities include golfing, playing bingo, attaining family history champion status, and gloating to my kids about my senior discounts. Many of these things are things that I think I will enjoy but that, with the exception of golf, I believe will be best enjoyed during the twilight of my life.

Well, one such activity that I would have included on this list a few years ago had I been asked to share would be keeping a journal.

I am not sure exactly what motivated me to begin keeping a daily record but as of late, I have found my desire to keep up with it dwindling as I have felt like my life seems, well, boring. It is in this context that I share how I found renewed motivation to continue chronicling my life.

This week as I read Jacob 4, I read "Now behold, it came to pass that I, Jacob, having ministered much unto my people in word, (and I cannot write but a little of my words, because of the difficulty of engraving our words upon plates)... write a few words upon plates, which will give our children, and also our beloved brethren, a small degree of knowledge concerning us" (v.1-2). I felt like I could truly relate to Jacob as I read this passage--writing a journal seriously takes effort! While my record keeping is much easier than Jacob's due to our difference in stationary, I do sometimes find myself wondering if the "small degree" of information future readers of my journal will glean about me is worth all the effort.

However, I was then impressed with his following statement, "Now in this thing we do rejoice; and we labor diligently to engraven these words upon plates...[and] we have written these things, that they may know that we knew of Christ, and we had a hope of his glory" (v. 3-4). Jacob's statement made me reevaluate my current chronicles. As I reflected, I began to feel a little guilty in recognition of the fact that in my daily journal entries, even though I would have been certain to list "making sure my kids know I believe in Christ" as one of my top reasons for keeping a journal, my entries didn't seem to portray the significance Christ has played in my daily life.

Feeling a bit discouraged and not sure my kids would want to read a daily testimony if I chose to only write about Christ, I began to seriously question my efforts to journal. However, it was then as I pondered a bit longer that it occurred to me that perhaps I already have been including something each day that reflects my belief in Christ. As I panned through entries, I began to see Him in the small acts of service I wrote about completing or the listening ear that I wrote about offering a friend. It was then that I recognized something powerful also about The Book of Mormon I had not previously noticed. The principle was that even in the stories about groups' journeys or battle scenes, reflections of Christ can be seen in the peoples' actions.

I think this was huge for me to realize because writing about our lives can truly be a testimony of Christ for our journals' future readers if we are living a life that He would live. I think that my journal has the ability to not only expressly testify of Christ but also implicitly do so as readers hopefully read of a life changed and influenced by Christ. In realizing this, I have found a greater desire to continue to document the seemingly uneventful life that I may feel as though I am living because it can be a strong testimony of Christ. I have also decided to make a more earnest effort to see Christ in the implicit testimonies of Him recorded in the peoples' lives of The Book of Mormon.

Situational 'Iron'y

In the eighth chapter of 1 Nephi, we read of a dream that Nephi’s father Lehi had while they are living in the wilderness just outside of Jerusalem on their way to what the Lord described as a “promised land.” The dream Lehi recounts for his family is really quite an interesting one—the kind of dream that could leave just about anyone scratching his head. Lehi dreams of being lost in a “dark and dreary waste” (v. 7) before being led to a tree which produced the sweetest fruit he had ever partaken of. His dream also consisted of many other aspects including a large building full of prideful people, a river, a path leading to the tree, a rod of iron that seemed to serve the purpose of a handrail along the path, and many other things. If I had to guess just based off of when my family members have told me some of their dreams, Lehi’s family certainly must have been bewildered.

With that said, I have woken up from dreams before and found myself curious to determine if they may have meant something more, and in a similar manner, Nephi seemed to be interested in gleaning what his father’s dream meant. In a later vision, Nephi learns the interpretation of many of the items in his father’s dream. Some interpretations included learning that the tree and its fruit represented the Savior and the grace He offers all, the river represented the bitterness of hell, the rod represented the “word of God” or His word, and the path represented a life that leads to Christ.

I have studied this dream many times and always found it insightful. However, this time I found it incredibly interesting. As I attended my religion class, a student brought out an oddity I had missed in my previous readings—that being the “rod of iron… extended along the bank of the river” (2 Nephi 8:19). We then discussed how counter intuitive it would seem for the Lord to have His path and word so close to a river representing hell. My mind raced for reasons this could be, but the only satisfactory answers I seemed to generate were along the lines of the Lord can strengthen us even in a world where we are always close to evil. It was just when I had settled on this explanation, though, that I gleaned a humbling new insight.

I think the struggle I have had in obtaining a new insight into this aspect of the dream has been that I have always tried to generate insights from the perspective of someone trying to not fall into the river while holding to the rod. However, the thought was shared (and it has resonated with me since) that perhaps the path and rod do not extend along the river for the sake of those who are already holding onto it—perhaps it is there for the sakes of those floating down the river.

As I thought upon this, I couldn’t help but recognize how silly I had been to not think of this as certainly, all of us, especially me, have fallen into that river representative of hell or a separation from God that comes from sinning at one point or another and during our struggle to get out, we have all surely hoped to grab a hold of something solid. With this perspective, it only makes sense that “the Word” would be close by this river. Christ is always close by willing to help us back on the path. He stands there, just in reach for all who are desperately trying to find something solid in their lives.

I think there is power in realizing that no matter where we seem to be metaphorically located in Lehi’s dream that always in reach is His Word that can lead us ultimately to His grace which certainly is the sweetest of all the gifts of this life.